Reentry

Joanna and I had the privilege of attending the annual district conference for the C&MA in the Pacific Northwest the last few days up in Portland. After 18 months of being out of circulation with all of these pastors and leaders, it was good to be with them again. It was good to be one of them again. Our district superintendent, Matt Boda, even gave me the privilege of preaching for the closing service. I appreciated the theme of the event (and tried to speak to the theme, at least loosely): "We are an alliance of churches and leaders engaging in the life and mission of Jesus."

I'm grateful that in answer to your prayers I am now strong enough to be involved in these kinds of events. Other than missing out on the meals (due to my inability to swallow), I was a full participant…something I only dreamed of a year ago. Last year at this time I was spending my days in my chair at home feeling absolutely ugly in most every way. A wheel chair was my main mode of transportation. I only had about a good hour or two a day to get anything done and then I'd crash again. Now my stamina is actually quite good.

I try to record and remind myself of these milestones from time to time because otherwise I get discouraged by what I still can't do, eat or be. Maybe you've found some ways to do the same in your life.

One Point from My Sermon
A passage that struck me recently and that I shared in my message is Psalm 105:18-19, "Joseph's feet were hurt with fetters, his neck was put in a collar of iron; until what he had said came to pass, the word of the Lord kept testing him." The very word that Joseph had spoken--the word that he knew he had heard from God--became the same word that tested him. His trial was difficult enough, but exponentially adding to its harshness was the fact that he had heard from God that he would live such a different life.

His own "sermon" mocked him. I confessed to the audience at the conference that I've experienced the same. I've declared repeatedly that "God is in this and He is good." But every once in a while I have a dark day when I can't seem to see the goodness of God. My own message mocks me. I'm tested by my own words. This is part of the discipleship journey. This is part of God's training. This also gives one pause about what one preaches, as I'm increasingly aware that I might have to live out the words I speak in deeper ways.

A Significant Conversation
Meanwhile at the conference, Joanna and I met a man who is working toward becoming an Alliance pastor. Three years and one day before I became ill, he was stricken with Dermatomyositis (the disease I'm being treated for.) He shared at length with us. It was amazing how our stories paralleled. Before getting ill, he was an active athlete working in the Christian retail industry. He lost 90 pounds as his muscles were afflicted. He lost his ability to swallow and had to be on a feeding tube. He lost his ability to go to work. He's been on medications I've tried and some I haven't.

The bottom line is that it was great to talk to someone who was a few years ahead of me in this journey. On a negative note, he still has ongoing battles. (He must have used the word "slow" a half dozen times in reference to the disease and his recovery.) But, at least he is eating again, has regained some of his weight and much of his day to day functioning. So, it was sobering, enlightening and hope giving all at the same time.

Miscellaneous Notes
Just a reminder that I'm moving this blog to a weekly event…shooting for Thursday mornings when possible.

The good people on our church's tech team captured my Easter testimony and have now put it online. For any who would like to watch a seven minute message of hope, go to the following:
http://www.vimeo.com/10941130.

We're excited to be with our family for Josiah's graduation which is just a couple weeks away. It looks to be another great opportunity to make some family memories.

Thanks again for your ongoing love and prayers. It means so much to not be on this journey alone. You have been a great help to me. Somehow, someway, I hope my journey is helping you as well. If we have to be in these bodies on this planet, we might as well help each other along the way!

Your Traveling Companion,
John